Sunday, September 7, 2008

PD/PS - humanity and fragility

After getting some jittery comments from my family about my recent posts, and after passing a rather explosive weekend (Margaret tells me that Jupiter is reigning at the moment and apparently that means conflict), I thought it would be fitting to write a little PS:

I just went down to my local market, which for me is always a good Sunday activity that gives good respite - the vendors there fill my heart and really treat me well.

I was also able to talk about these recent thuderous thoughts with a couple of friends - my Colombian friend, who is only too familiar with violence and conflict, shrugged his shoulders and said "don´t let yourself get affected". He's right. I cannot let myself get sangrona, hot blooded and edgy.

Then, it all just clicked: I'm tired. I want to go home.
Ever since having my ticket back to Sydney booked, my thoughts have been in another place, and I feel ever more inquieta. However much I love this country and I adore my life at the moment, and am so grateful for my job, my blessings, everything. I am tired.

Suddenly, my own words jumped into my head: words that I used a year ago, writing on this very blog, living in this very same country, learning about it; growing back then as I am now:

I am facing it straight on, getting up and coming and goin, and realising that the millions of lives struggling to make their way in this city do NOT funnily enough combine to make it a trampling rat race, but rather you feel lifted up and carried by the collective journeys of so many dreams travelling around you. And you feel people caring for people - understanding that at the end of the day they have their aunt, their brother, their friend to look after and share life with. The infallible Mexican community identity always comes through. The truth that is felt so strongly in this country is that the people around you are the most important part of your life.

It´s been a journey, a long one. I am ready to be on Australian shores, and rest for a bit, before coming back to my beloved Mexico.

Being in Europe (Geneva and Berlin) next week will be very good for me I think.

Signing off from a somewhat more calm state of mind.....!

1 comment:

Fiona said...

hey, maddie, sorry not to have been in touch for so long! When do you get back to sydney? Could Mike and I take you out to dinner before we leave for New York on boxing day? I'm off work for a while, so my email is fionaeacameron@gmail.com.